LOGIC 101

An interesting letter in the Canadian Shooter Magazine this week, which I quote:

"If you consider that there has been an average of 160,000 troops in the Iraq Theater of operations during the past 22 months, and a total of 2,112 deaths, that gives a firearm death rate of 60 per 100,000 soldiers.

The firearm death rate in Washington , DC is 80.6 per 100,000 for the same period. That means you are about 25 per cent more likely to be shot and killed in the US capital, which has some of the strictest gun control laws in the U.S., than you are in Iraq.“

Conclusion: The U.S. should pull out of Washington DC

Sorta tells it like it is…

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am."

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You’re in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.

"She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Republican."

"I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"
"

Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct. But I have no idea what to do with your information, and I’m still lost. Frankly, you’ve not been much help to me."

The man smiled and responded, "You must be an Obama Democrat."

"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you are going. You’ve risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You’re in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it’s my fault."

In honor of Governor Schwartzenegger,
a new commandment has been added to the Bible.

Be sure to write this one in underneath the other ten:

"Thou Shalt Not Sharest Thy Rod With Thy Staff"

INTERESTING OBSERVATION

1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is  BASKETBALL.

2 The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is  BOWLING.

3 The sport of choice for front-line workers is  FOOTBALL.

4 The sport of choice for supervisors is  BASEBALL.

5 The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS.

And….

6 The sport of choice for corporate executives and officers is  GOLF.

THE AMAZING CONCLUSION:

The higher you go in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become.

There must be a ton of people in Washington playing marbles!

When my old Dell Laptop started to begin signs of aging after six years of loyalty, I purchased a new Dell 17 inch laptop failing to remember that while the computer performed admirably with only a few beginning glitches, Dell tech support did not perform admirably.  I shuddered when I remembered the long, late nights of trying to get my computer set up without glitches that defied description at least by me.  Do you remember the line that Peter Finch yelled from the window in the movie Network?  “I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore.”  In my latest dealings with Dell outsourced technical support I found myself screaming the same line and refraining from screaming American obscenities into the ears of the tech support with varying degrees of English competence and/or intricacies of dialect or computer jargon as I can understand it. I am mad as hell to begin with with Americans in this country continuing to lose jobs to outsourcing.  It is certainly not the fault of the countries or personnel where American companies set up shop; it is the fault of our greedy profit driven at any expense companies who want cheap labor.

Why do companies outsource tech support to non Americans located in foreign lands when I barely know how to describe the problem to myself much less an outsourced “techie”.  When one does not know how to speak “Computer tech” much less explain the problem with a computer, how does one deal with a technical support person in another country..  I am afraid I fit the bill sometimes of the Ugly American when speaking with the fifth or sixth person in two different countries trying to get help.  The phone line goes dead, one must explain the problem to seven different people with no results, one’s ownership of said problematic computer is questioned when there is no record of the computer even when the receipt is in hand. Then the line goes dead.  Finally after five hours on the phone to Dell tech support located heaven knows where and four move hours the next day,  someone who knows what he is doing gets on the phone and the problem is solved in fifteen minutes. Meanwhile, I have become a babbling idiot with a bad headache, frayed nerves, lack of goodwill toward men and especially Dell. 

On another note, Exxon just posted profits last quarter of 10.2 billion.  If you did not get that here it is $10,200,000,000.  If I am wrong in the vast number of 0’s please forgive me as my head swims just visualizing that much money. Now gas has just gone up today again to $4.15 a gallon and going higher. Thank God and I mean thank God that I am blessed enough to pay for gas as long as I stay in our county! However,  I am appalled,angry, and horrified that those of us who are unemployed, making minimum wage, facing or enduring foreclosure, or homeless are hit with the greed of the oil companies.  Our government is doing nothing to help the impoverished or the struggling middle class. Gas prices are going to obscene levels and we continue to just let our elected officials go on worrying about their own good and not the good of our country7 or our citizens. When will we stand up and be counted and “throw the bums (in lieu of the word I would prefer to use to describe our politicians) out!  Now we have the horrible destruction in the South.  New Orleans has still not been rebuilt from Katrina; how will we rebuild our tornado destroyed towns when we truly are operating under a huge deficit and continue to pour money into foreign lands whether in outsourcing labor, factories, companies, or war. We rush in to help countries who have national disasters; what countries will help us. When we have been their for them, what countries have offered to help us in disasters the scope of Katrina or Tuscaloosa.

I am not finished “ranting” but will save it for the future.  I will say this however the 2012 election will be the election which sets the tone of our future.  When will politicians get out of bed with those who can feather the nests of our legislators and decide to forgo their own greed to help those most in need in our country.  Just pray for our country; prayer is needed now more than ever.  Pray also for those Americans suffering from the destruction of the tornados hitting our South and as always for our soldiers who continue to be in harm’s way. 

Until next time . . .  

The following questions were asked in last year’s GED examination.
These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds’)………… My brilliant editorial comments are in red

AND THEY WILL REPRODUCE!!! AND PROBABLY BECOME POLITICIANS OR AT LEAST WORK IN GOVERNMENT

In fact I may have had their parents or grandparents in school! And I did try!

Q. Name the four seasons.
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants
like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists. (love this one!!! at least dead dogs were not mentioned)

Q. How is dew formed?
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q. What causes the tides in the oceans?
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to
flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature
abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight. (nature abhors a vacuum on the moon yet??)

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist upon?
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed.

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election. (or in the case of our presidents, governors, presidential candidates etc. wins an election)

Q. What are steroids?
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.(Shoot yourself now, there
is little hope.)

Q.. What happens to your body as you age?
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental. (At
least they get to travel!)

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery (So
true!)

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death.

Q. What is artificial insemination
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow. (very, very dangerous procedure)

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour?
A. Keep it in the cow. (Simple, but brilliant.)

Q How are the main 20 parts of the body categorized? (e.g. The abdomen.)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts – the brainium, the borax and the
abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the
heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E,
I,O,U    (at least this kid learned the vowel sounds in school!)

Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie. (This person has a career in politics awaiting!)

Q. What does ‘varicose’ mean?
A. Nearby.

Q What is the most common form of birth control?
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium. (That would
work.)

Q. Give the meaning of the term ‘Cesarean section’.
A. The Cesarean section is a district in Rome. (I love this one)

Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit!) probably lived in the Cesarean part of Rome

Q. What is a terminal illness?
A. When you are sick at the airport.(Irrefutable!)

Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like tiny
umbrellas.

Q. Use the word ‘judicious’ in a sentence to show you understand its
meaning.
A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. (OMG)

Q. What does the word ‘benign’ mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight. (Brilliant)

Here’s the way it should be and is definitely NOT!

Let’s put the seniors in jail and the criminals in nursing homes.

This would correct two things in one motion:
Seniors would have access to showers, hobbies and walks.

They would receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical
treatment, wheel chairs, etc.

They would receive money instead of having to pay it out.

They would have constant video monitoring, so they would be helped instantly
if they fell or needed assistance.

Bedding would be washed twice a week and all clothing would be ironed and
returned to them.

545 PEOPLE — By Charlie Reese

Politicians are the only people in the world who create problems and then
campaign against them.

Have you ever wondered, if both the Democrats and the Republicans are
against deficits, WHY do we have deficits?

Have you ever wondered, if all the politicians are against inflation and
high taxes, WHY do we have inflation and high taxes?

You and I don’t propose a federal budget. The president does.

You and I don’t have the Constitutional authority to vote on appropriations.
The House of Representatives does.

You and I don’t write the tax code, Congress does.

You and I don’t set fiscal policy, Congress does.

You and I don’t control monetary policy, the Federal Reserve Bank does.

One hundred senators, 435 congressmen, one president, and nine Supreme Court
justices equates to 545 human beings out of the 300 million are directly,
legally, morally, and individually responsible for the domestic problems
that plague this country.

I excluded the members of the Federal Reserve Board because that problem was
created by the Congress. In 1913, Congress delegated its Constitutional duty
to provide a sound currency to a federally chartered, but private, central
bank.

I excluded all the special interests and lobbyists for a sound reason. They
have no legal authority. They have no ability to coerce a senator, a
congressman, or a president to do one cotton-picking thing. I don’t care if
they offer a politician $1 million dollars in cash. The politician has the
power to accept or reject it. No matter what the lobbyist promises, it is
the legislator’s responsibility to determine how he votes.

Those 545 human beings spend much of their energy convincing you that what
they did is not their fault. They cooperate in this common con regardless of
party.

What separates a politician from a normal human being is an excessive amount
of gall. No normal human being would have the gall of a Speaker, who stood
up and criticized the President for creating deficits…. . The president
can only propose a budget. He cannot force the Congress to accept it.

The Constitution, which is the supreme law of the land, gives sole
responsibility to the House of Representatives for originating and approving
appropriations and taxes. Who is the speaker of the House? Nancy Pelosi. She
is the leader of the majority party. She and fellow House members, not the
president, can approve any budget they want. If the president vetoes it,
they can pass it over his veto if they agree to.

It seems inconceivable to me that a nation of 300 million can not replace545
people who stand convicted — by present facts — of incompetence and
irresponsibility. I can’t think of a single domestic problem that is not
traceable directly to those 545 people. When you fully grasp the plain truth
that 545 people exercise the power of the federal government, then it must
follow that what exists is what they want to exist.

If the tax code is unfair, it’s because they want it unfair.

If the budget is in the red, it’s because they want it in the red ..

If the Army & Marines are in IRAQ , it’s because they want them in IRAQ. If
they do not receive social security but are on an elite retirement plan not
available to the people, it’s because they want it that way.

There are no insoluble government problems.

Do not let these 545 people shift the blame to bureaucrats, whom they hire
and whose jobs they can abolish; to lobbyists, whose gifts and advice they
can reject; to regulators, to whom they give the power to regulate and from
whom they can take this power. Above all, do not let them con you into the
belief that there exists disembodied mystical forces like "the economy,"
"inflation," or "politics" that prevent them from doing what they take an
oath to do.

Those 545 people, and they alone, are responsible.

They, and they alone, have the power..

They, and they alone, should be held accountable by the people who are their
bosses.

Provided the voters have the gumption to manage their own employees…

We should vote all of them out of office and clean up their mess!

Charlie Reese is a former columnist of the Orlando Sentinel Newspaper.

                What you do with this article now that you have read it is up to you!

WE PAY:

Sales Tax

School Tax

Liquor Tax

Luxury Tax

Excise Taxes

Property Tax

Cigarette Tax

Medicare Tax

Inventory Tax

Real Estate Tax

Well Permit Tax

Fuel Permit Tax

Inheritance Tax

Road Usage Tax

CDL license Tax

Dog License Tax

State Income Tax

Food License Tax

Vehicle Sales Tax

Gross Receipts Tax

Social Security Tax

Service Charge Tax

Fishing License Tax

Federal Income Tax

Building Permit Tax

IRS Interest Charges

Hunting License Tax

Marriage License Tax

Corporate Income Tax

Personal Property Tax

Accounts Receivable Tax

Recreational Vehicle Tax

Workers Compensation Tax

Watercraft Registration Tax

Telephone Usage Charge Tax

Telephone Federal Excise Tax

Telephone State and Local Tax

IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)

State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)

Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)

Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax

Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax

Gasoline Tax (currently 44.75 cents per gallon)

Utility Taxes Vehicle License Registration Tax

Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Taxes

Telephone Recurring and Nonrecurring Charges Tax

Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago, & our nation was the most
prosperous in the world.We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest
middle class in the world, and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.

What in the hell happened? Can you spell ‘politicians? ‘

I hope this goes around THE USA at least 100 times!!!

YOU can help it get there!!! Cross Post!

GO AHEAD – -

 BE AN AMERICAN!!!