<\/p>\n
\nForwarded by a friend:<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n
Political Humor Not Really Funny <\/strong><\/font> <\/p>\n
Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another ‘Economic Stimulus’ Payment. This is indeed a very exciting program, and I’ll explain it by using a Q & A format: <\/strong><\/font> <\/p>\n
Q. What is an ‘Economic Stimulus’ payment ? <\/strong><\/font> <\/p>\n
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers. <\/strong><\/font> <\/p>\n
Q. Where will the government get this money ? <\/strong><\/font> <\/p>\n
A. From taxpayers. <\/strong><\/font> <\/p>\n
Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ? <\/strong><\/font> <\/p>\n
A. Only a smidgen of it. <\/strong><\/font> <\/p>\n
Q. What is the purpose of this payment ? <\/strong><\/font> <\/p>\n
A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy. <\/strong><\/font> <\/p>\n
Q. But isn’t that stimulating the economy of China ? <\/strong><\/font> <\/p>\n
A . Shut up. <\/strong><\/font> <\/p>\n
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. economy by spending your stimulus check wisely: <\/strong><\/font> <\/p>\n
* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka .
* If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs. <\/strong><\/font> <\/p>\n* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or China <\/strong><\/font> <\/p>\n
* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala . <\/strong><\/font> <\/p>\n
* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea . <\/strong><\/font> <\/p>\n
* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan . <\/strong><\/font> <\/p>\n
* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore. <\/strong><\/font> <\/p>\n
Instead, keep the money in America by: <\/strong><\/font> <\/p>\n
1) Spending it at yard sales, or <\/strong><\/font> <\/p>\n
2) Going to ball games, or <\/strong><\/font> <\/p>\n
3) Spending it on prostitutes, or <\/strong><\/font> <\/p>\n
4) Beer or <\/strong><\/font> <\/p>\n
5) Tattoos. <\/strong><\/font> <\/p>\n
(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S.) <\/strong><\/font> <\/p>\n
Conclusion: <\/strong><\/font> <\/p>\n
Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day ! <\/strong><\/font> <\/p>\n
Works for me! <\/strong><\/font><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Forwarded by a friend: Political Humor Not Really Funny Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another ‘Economic Stimulus’ Payment. This is indeed a very exciting program, and I’ll explain it by using a Q & A format: Q. What is an ‘Economic Stimulus’ payment ? A. It is money that the federal […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[16,31],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/rattlebridge.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/511"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/rattlebridge.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/rattlebridge.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rattlebridge.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rattlebridge.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=511"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/rattlebridge.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/511\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/rattlebridge.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=511"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rattlebridge.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=511"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rattlebridge.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=511"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}