Sent from on of my friends who has nothing better to do than forward stuff and I have nothing better to do than blog (not true, just procrastinating)

The following questions were asked in last year’s GED examination.
These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds’)………… My brilliant editorial comments are in red

AND THEY WILL REPRODUCE!!! AND PROBABLY BECOME POLITICIANS OR AT LEAST WORK IN GOVERNMENT

In fact I may have had their parents or grandparents in school! And I did try!

Q. Name the four seasons.
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants
like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists. (love this one!!! at least dead dogs were not mentioned)

Q. How is dew formed?
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q. What causes the tides in the oceans?
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to
flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature
abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight. (nature abhors a vacuum on the moon yet??)

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist upon?
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed.

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election. (or in the case of our presidents, governors, presidential candidates etc. wins an election)

Q. What are steroids?
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.(Shoot yourself now, there
is little hope.)

Q.. What happens to your body as you age?
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental. (At
least they get to travel!)

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery (So
true!)

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death.

Q. What is artificial insemination
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow. (very, very dangerous procedure)

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour?
A. Keep it in the cow. (Simple, but brilliant.)

Q How are the main 20 parts of the body categorized? (e.g. The abdomen.)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts – the brainium, the borax and the
abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the
heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E,
I,O,U    (at least this kid learned the vowel sounds in school!)

Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie. (This person has a career in politics awaiting!)

Q. What does ‘varicose’ mean?
A. Nearby.

Q What is the most common form of birth control?
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium. (That would
work.)

Q. Give the meaning of the term ‘Cesarean section’.
A. The Cesarean section is a district in Rome. (I love this one)

Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit!) probably lived in the Cesarean part of Rome

Q. What is a terminal illness?
A. When you are sick at the airport.(Irrefutable!)

Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like tiny
umbrellas.

Q. Use the word ‘judicious’ in a sentence to show you understand its
meaning.
A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. (OMG)

Q. What does the word ‘benign’ mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight. (Brilliant)

I have thought about revising my living will after seeing this one!!!