postheadericon A Must Watch: Father’s Message to Future Son-in-Law

I love this father’s message to his future son-in-law just before the ceremony. It’s humorous, but the message is clear. Please watch it. 

All parents of daughters can relate and all future sons-in-law take heed!!! use control and click to follow link.

postheadericon Hilarious Dog Supper


If you want to ROTF laugh, please watch these two dogs dine in this youtube video.  I loved it! 

While I can’t roll on the floor and laugh right now with my foot in a cast, believe me I wanted to do so!!!

postheadericon Our society is doomed…

New sign at Wal-Mart


Our society is doomed…………..


I handed the teller @ my bank a withdrawal slip for $400.00
I said "May I have large bills, please"

She looked at me and said "I’m sorry sir, all the bills are the same size."
When I got up off the floor I explained it to her….

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. ‘Hey,’ I announced to the technician, ‘it’s open!’ His reply: ‘I know. I already got that side.’

This was at the Ford dealership in Canton,MS

We had to have the garage door repaired.
The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a ‘large’ enough motor on the opener.
I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
He shook his head and said, ‘Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.’ I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4.
He said, ‘NO, it’s not..’ Four is larger than two.’

We haven’t used Sears repair since.

My daughter and I went through the McDonald’s take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill.
Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter.
She said, ‘you gave me too much money.’ I said, ‘Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.
She sighed and went to get the manager, who asked me to repeat my request.
I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said ‘We’re sorry but we could not do that kind of thing.’
The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.

Do not confuse the clerks at McD’s.

I live in a semi rural area.
We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office
to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road.
The reason: ‘Too many deer are being hit by cars out here!
I don’t think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.’

From Kingman , KS

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco.
She asked the person behind the counter for ‘minimal lettuce.’
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceburg lettuce.

— From Kansas City

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, ‘Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?’
To which I replied, ‘If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?’
He smiled knowingly and nodded, ‘That’s why we ask.’

Happened in Birmingham , Ala.

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it’s safe to cross the street.
I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.
I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, ‘What on earth are blind people doing driving?!’

She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS

At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to ‘downsizing,’
our manager commented cheerfully, ‘This is fun. We should do this more often.’
Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.

I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself
and for the sake of her life, couldn’t understand why her system would not turn on.

A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff’s office, no less.

How would you pronounce this child’s name?
Leah?? NO
Lee – a?? NOPE
Lay – a?? NO
Lei?? Guess Again.
This child attends a school in
Kansas City
, Mo.
Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong.
It’s pronounced "Ledasha."
When the Mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said, "the dash don’t be silent."

postheadericon Sleeping Dogs

I have seen all these patterns of sleeping in all my years with dogs and one husband (God rest his soul).  Too cute!

Make sure your sound is up!

postheadericon Look what happens when we cut down too many trees.

Look what happens when we cut down too many trees.
Global warming is one thing, but scroll down and look at what might happen if we continue to clear our forests!
We have to stop cutting down trees!
This is getting serious!


postheadericon Deer Hunting and Politics—I LOVE THIS ONE!!!


Even if you don’t care about hunting, Gotta Love Ted!



Ted Nugent, rock star and avid bow hunter from Michigan , was being interviewed by a liberal journalist, an animal rights activist.  The discussion came around to deer hunting.

The journalist asked, ‘What do you think is the last thought in the head of a deer before you shoot him? Is it, ‘Are you my friend?’ or is it ‘Are you the one who killed my brother?

Nugent replied, ‘Deer aren’t capable of that kind of thinking. All they care about is, what am I going to eat next, who am I going to screw next, and can I run fast enough to get away. They are very much like the Democrats in Congress.’

The interview ended.


Grey-Haired Brigade
They like to refer to us as senior citizens, old fogies, geezers, and in some cases dinosaurs.  Some of us are "Baby Boomers" getting ready to retire.  Others have been retired for some time.  We walk a little slower these days and our eyes and hearing are not what they once were.  We have worked hard, raised our children, worshiped our God and grown old together.  Yes, we are the ones some refer to as being over the hill, and that is probably true.  But before writing us off completely, there are a few things that need to be taken into consideration.
In school we studied English, history, math, and science which enabled us to lead America into the technological age.  Most of us remember what outhouses were, many of us with firsthand experience.  We remember the days of telephone party-lines, 25 cent gasoline, and milk and ice being delivered to our homes.  For those of you who don’t know what an icebox is, today they are electric and referred to as refrigerators.  A few even remember when cars were started with a crank.  Yes, we lived those days.
We are probably considered old fashioned and out-dated by many.  But there are a few things you need to remember before completely writing us off.  We won World War II, fought in Korea and Viet Nam.  We can quote The Pledge of Allegiance, and know where to place our hand while doing so.  We wore the uniform of our country with pride and lost many friends on the battlefield.  We didn’t fight for the Socialist States of America, we fought for the "Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave."  We wore different uniforms but carried the same flag.  We know the words to the Star Spangled Banner,  America ,and America the Beautiful by heart, and you may even see some tears running down our cheeks as we sing.  We’ve lived what many of you have only read in
history books and we feel no obligation to apologize to anyone for America.
Yes, we are old and slow these days but rest assured, we have at least one good fight left in us.  We have loved this country, fought for it, and died for it, and now we are going to save it.  It is our country and nobody is going to take it away from us.  We took oaths to defend America against all enemies, foreign and domestic, and that is an oath we plan to keep.  There are those who want to destroy this land we love but, like our founders, there is no way we are going to remain silent.
It was mostly the young people of this nation who elected Obama and the Democratic Congress.  You fell for the "Hope and Change" which in reality was nothing but "Hype and Lies."  You have tasted socialism and seen evil face to face, and have found you don’t like it after all.  You make a lot of noise, but most are all too interested in their careers or "Climbing the Social Ladder" to be involved in such mundane things as patriotism and voting.  Many of those who fell for the "Great Lie" in 2008 are now having buyer’s remorse.  With all the education we gave you, you didn’t have sense enough to see through the lies and instead drank the ‘Kool-Aid.’  Now you’re paying the price and complaining about it.  No jobs, lost mortgages, higher taxes, and less freedom.  This is what
you voted for and this is what you got.  We entrusted you with the Torch of Liberty and you traded it for a paycheck and a fancy house.
Well, don’t worry youngsters, the Grey-Haired Brigade is here, and in 2012 we are going to take back our nation.  We may drive a little slower than you would like but we get where we’re going, and in 2012 we’re going to the polls by the millions.  This land does not belong to the man in the White House nor to the likes of Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid.  It belongs to "We the People" and "We the People" plan to reclaim our land and our freedom.  We hope this time you will do a better job of preserving it and passing it along to our grandchildren.  So the next time you have the chance to say the Pledge of Allegiance, Stand up, put your hand over your heart, honor our country, and thank God for the old geezers of the "Grey-Haired Brigade."
Author, Anon. Grey-Haired Brigade Member

This is spot on.  I am another Gray-Haired Geezer signing on.  I will circulate this to other Gray-Haired Geezers all over this once great county.  Can you feel the ground shaking???  It’s not an earthquake, it is a STAMPEDE.

God Bless America

postheadericon The Hot Air Balloonist—politically incorrect!

Sorta tells it like it is…

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am."

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You’re in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.

"She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Republican."

"I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"

Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct. But I have no idea what to do with your information, and I’m still lost. Frankly, you’ve not been much help to me."

The man smiled and responded, "You must be an Obama Democrat."

"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you are going. You’ve risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You’re in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it’s my fault."

postheadericon A BIT OF HUMOR ABOUT BEING 80 (which I am NOT lest you think so!)

Will I Live to see 80?

Here’s something to think about.

I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing ‘fairly well’ for my age. (I just turned sixty-something.)

A little concerned about that comment, I couldn’t resist asking him, ‘Do you think I’ll live to be 80?’

He asked, ‘Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer, wine or hard liquor?
Oh no,’ I replied.  ‘I’m not doing drugs, either!’

Then he asked, ‘Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?
I said, ‘Not much… My former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!’
‘Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing
Golf, boating, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?’

‘No, I don’t,’ I said.
He asked, ‘Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have lots of sex?’ ‘No,’ I said…

He looked at me and said,..  ‘Then, why do you even give a shit?’


postheadericon An Arnold Comment

In honor of Governor Schwartzenegger,
a new commandment has been added to the Bible.

Be sure to write this one in underneath the other ten:

"Thou Shalt Not Sharest Thy Rod With Thy Staff"