Only In Ireland:

As the plain approached Dublin number 1 runway, the tower heard from the cockpit:

PILOT – Bejeesus will ya look how bloody shart dat runway is?

CO-PILOT – Yer nat bloody kiddin, Paddy

PILOT – Dis is ganna be one a de trickiest landings ever, Shamus!
CO-PILOT – Yer nat bloody kiddin, Paddy !!

PILOT – Right, Shamus, when I say ‘go’ put de engine in reverse!!
CO-PILOT – Royt, I’ll do dat !!

PILOT – An den ya put de flaps down!!

CO-PILOT – Royt, I’ll do dat, too !!

PILOT – An den stamp an de brakes as hard as yer can an pray ta de
Holy Mudder a Gad !!!

CO-PILOT – I’m prayin already, but I’ll hit de brakes as hard as I can.

So, as the wheels hit the ground, Shamus put the engines in reverse,
puts the flaps down, stamped on the brakes and continued to pray to the Holy Mother with all his soul. The brakes screeched, the tyres squealed,and there was smoke everywhere, but, to the relief of all the passengers, and, not least of all, Paddy and Shamus, the aircraft came to a stop a few meters from the end of the runway!!!

As Paddy and Shamus sat in the cockpit regaining some composure,

Paddy looked out of the window and said to Shamus, “Dat has gat ta be de shartist bloody runway in de world!”

Shamus replied, “Yes, but da ya see how bloody  wide it is?

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